All of the "unspoken rules" around dating are insanely childish, amirite?

I just did what felt right, I didn't even know there were rules.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

THAT is exactly my point, dating is 1000% better when you just do what you feel like is right.

by Gradyowen 1 week ago

I think their point was most people do what they feel is right, hence not really an unpopular opinion.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree but I think younger generations think more like you or I tbf

by Fun-Opening1472 1 week ago

When I went on my first date with my now husband, I was disappointed he didn't try to kiss me or even hold my hand on our first date, but I never had any rules. I wouldn't have even known what pretend rules to set

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That's the way it should be. Just let a connection form naturally. Following stupid "rules" is just playing games and not being true to yourself.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My wife tells me about all of these rules that I broke when we first started dating. I didn't offer to pay for her coffee, I forgot to text her afterward, I didn't go in for a kiss on the 3rd date.. But it worked didn't it? Some rules...

by Safe-Film5242 1 week ago

Contrast your story with my constant experience, women acting totally passive and never showing even a hint of genuine interest.

by codyconroy 1 week ago

Just go with whatever feels comfortable. Take enough people out on dates and you'll figure out if the girl or guy is into you and then just generally do what you want and have fun. Dating should be about getting to know someone and having fun.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

How tall are you ? Yes it matter , there's no way she did that for a guy shorter than average

by Ferrypiper 1 week ago

Quit making your height your identity at it will help.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Self pity is going to be a way bigger barrier to a relationship than your height.

by Any_Tangerine8611 1 week ago

Truth is that height matter buddy , women would go out of their way for taller guy compared to her standards for short guys , some women wouldn't even look a short guy

by Ferrypiper 1 week ago

I'd assume you don't want to be with those girls anyway, then? I have a several friends married to shorter men. I don't have tall men as a requirement to date them either.

by Miserable_Race9630 1 week ago

Lmao

by Anonymous 1 week ago

5' 11" and that has always been how my first dates went, if we didn't end up sleeping together the first date. You people need to get off the Internet 🤣

by Solid_Investment6021 1 week ago

So you went dutch? Like cheap as a MF? Don't wanne pay for anything? Like walking circles in a park kind of date because it's free?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Actually takes pressure off. Neither person is obligated to do anything after.

by Jkassulke 1 week ago

What do you mean? If you call somebody Dutch in holland it's a insult.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Real quick are u from the Netherlands? Cause ik people from there who referred to themselves as dutch so where did you hear that the word dutch is offensive?

by Pitiful_Owl9414 1 week ago

Yes, "going/went Dutch" it's a insult and It means you a cheap ass MF! Ask you're friends about "tikkie". If you say you're Dutch it's not.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I misunderstood you, if they say I'm Dutch in the way I'm from the Netherlands is nothing wrong with. Calling somebody Dutch it's still a insult.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

the rules are stupid

by Anonymous 1 week ago

funny thing is these rules are set by a vocal internet minority so everybody on the internet thinks that these rules are hard and fast lmao

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Those ‘rules' are so stupid

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Dating rules are nonsense. If you meet someone you like and who likes you then they'll overlook whatever perceived flaws you have. It's all about attraction and getting on. It either of you start looking for "broken rules" then you're not meant to be together.

by Mireyarice 1 week ago

No, they aren't. Rules are boundaries.

by East_Hospital 1 week ago

The boundary of waiting 24hours to text a reply to someone, of waiting 2 days to ask someone on a date again? That's not real life and when you meet someone who you click with and end up being with, it doesn't work like that. Yes, there are boundaries in relationships and fledgling relationships but "rules" like the afore mentioned are nonsense. Same as the spurious TikTok "ick" reels, it just isn't real life.

by Mireyarice 1 week ago

No, they aren't. Boundaries, rules, preferences are all different.

by Miserable_Race9630 1 week ago

Can any women tell me if they've experienced this from men? Cuz I've only experienced this from women, and not from the singular guy I've dated so I got skewed experience.

by Merlnitzsche 1 week ago

Somehow it was perpetuated in society that only predators are enthousiasticc about someone after only seeing them for a short while.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And exactly how many men have you dated? Guys like that definitely do exist. You just haven't had the experience of dating them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

what if men communicate with each other about their dating experiences

by Christiansenhil 1 week ago

You're getting a biased description of their dating experiences.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My idiot of a friend (he's very nice and great but sometimes an idiot when it comes to the opposite sex) was texting his crush once while I was hanging out with him and another friend. I realized each time that he'd see she texted he wouldn't respond. I asked him why he wasn't responding to her and his big dumb dumb response was: "I can't act too desperate or seem too interested so I wait at least 5-10 minutes before replying each time." I looked at him with great bewilderment and told him how stupid that sounds and that if he's having a conversation with her that there's literally nothing wrong with responding as soon as you see they've texted. My man you are 19 going on 20. I told him that if I were her I would find it super annoying that our text conversation would have persistent 10 minute long gaps between texts because it would wreck the flow of the conversation and I'd be confused as to why you're consistently waiting that long each time to respond. Doofus behavior. There's nothing wrong with showing interest and there's nothing more annoying than being in the middle of a conversation and the person on the other end makes it tedious by waiting an unnecessary amount of time between responses. If you are busy and can't text or can't respond fluidly to the conversation at hand then that's fine, but then tell them you're busy and text them later when you have time. Tried explaining that to him. He didn't get it 😃

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Some creepy guys use the third date rule to go for a kiss.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree but "playing hard to get" IS a game. If you're doing it for that, to play hard to get. If you simply aren't comfortable with physical contact or sex or something you wouldn't be playing hard to get, you would just be doing what you're comfortable doing. They're different things.

by Miserable_Race9630 1 week ago

I think the people that don't follow these "rules" are married/ going to be married and the people propagating this nonsense are forever single.

by Ornery_Act 1 week ago

Job interviewing is a common metaphor for dating and imho a very counterproductive one. Leads to people ignoring that dates should be fun, and that having fun together is a better indicator of compatibility than checking off characteristics you're looking for.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's weird because I think that most job interviews should be fun. You should be able to get along with the person that you're hiring. You spend as much time with your coworkers Maybe more than you do with your spouse. Companies need to focus a lot more on hiring Good hangs and a lot less on skill.

by Honest_Glass 1 week ago

Yes, forever single because their rules aren't good rules. Terribly ironic.

by wainorussel 1 week ago

Is she named "Gizmo"?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Zool

by Direct_Recipe 1 week ago

Barney Stinson?

by Budget_Vermicelli_69 1 week ago

They seem childish because they are. People who are looking for a real relationship don't play those games. If someone you're interested in is playing silly games, just move on. Find someone more on your level.

by Odd_Excitement 1 week ago

I think you're just dating the wrong people. Relationships should be natural

by breitenberghave 1 week ago

How do you feel about the "No sex on the first date" rule? I feel like there's a huge double standard on that one.

by Vidarath 1 week ago

That's a pretty wishy washy answer for someone that said "ALL the unspoken rules around dating are childish" : ) So maybe they aren't ALL childish.

by Vidarath 1 week ago

but they didn't say it was a rule? clearly their answer was about them specifically, and even then it was a "usually id go this but no pressure if i want to do something else"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah, it's not (unless you make it that way) a silly rule like it's replying only after 3 days if you want to reply earlier. I don't have not sleeping with someone as a rule that I saw somewhere or because someone told me that was bad. It's simply a preference to me. I don't want to, so I don't do it. And of course I'd like to find someone who either thinks the same way or respects it. But if I want to text someone or call them or invite them or another date I'm not following any of those "rules" sometimes people follow, I'll just do it. So, basically be me and go with what I'm comfortable with.

by Miserable_Race9630 1 week ago

Yeah, I'm saying saying it's a general rule that most people go by or have at least heard of. The OP only listed out like 3 or 4 examples of supposed dating rules. I'm highlighting another. Seems like everyone loves to pretend the play by this rule of No Sex on the First Date, but a ton of my friends end up admitting to doing it.

by Vidarath 1 week ago

I think he was saying all the unspoken rules (and rules that pertain to NOT communicating what you want to) are incredibly childish

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yep, I re-read it, that is what he's saying.

by Vidarath 1 week ago

My marriage started out as a one night hookup from grindr, I didn't even know his name. We've been together 7 years.

by Courtney20 1 week ago

I know quite a few long term couples and marriages that had sex on the first date.

by Vidarath 1 week ago

There were way more dating rules in the 90s, and that's where they started, get made at Gen X haha

by Soggy-Aside3888 1 week ago

The idea of waiting a few days before going out again, is to give people space. Learn to respect other people's boundaries and this won't be a problem for you.

by East_Hospital 1 week ago

If someone breaks up with you for a dumb reason, it's probably not for that reason and they just don't like your personality or smth but they don't want to directly say it

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I wish people had communication skills. Like the guy who basically ghosted me after dating for 10 months and then showed up four months later because he lost his keys. \screaming**

by wainorussel 1 week ago

Children make up and follow these rules

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The first, and by far the "most important", is the ritual of peeing on your partner's foot to display dominance.

by LongjumpingThroat968 1 week ago

AGREED! This is so immature and unattractive.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I only heard about all these "rules" on TikTok, and it's making me scared to date at all

by Zboncakwillis 1 week ago

Bro I think it's your anger and not these rules that have you being lonely my guy.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Lol I'm still friends with my exes. Even years later. All of them were break ups because of long distance reasons though so it wasn't personal.

by Romaguerablake 1 week ago

There are no rules. If you are struggling to date its because you are lacking in confidence, attractiveness, charisma, style and personality. You don't have to be a movie star just good enough to stand out from people that lack the above. Nobody wants boring, unattractive, miserable people with no social skills. It can be a hard thing tocome to face but working on yourself is the only way to change it. Also finding the right people to date. Trying to make it work with people that are clearly not a match is also an important point to consider.

by Significant_Rub_1151 1 week ago

Why would someone not responding be a rule? That usually just means the person isnt as interested as you may think. If someone is interested, they respond.

by Legitimate_Log3848 1 week ago

People are the least interesting they have ever been. There are no more adventures to be had. No untraveled paths. No virgin soil. And yet people are the most demanding of their potential partners as they have ever been. Its lame.

by Such_Pea_678 1 week ago

I don't think you're 13. You sound at least 19 😎

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You literally don't have to follow them. Of you do then yes I assume you're a child

by Anonymous 1 week ago

A girl I really had amazing chemistry with recently decided to just leave me on read. I'm just over here like… okay?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

How many restraining orders do you have against you?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Sounds like a 16 year old rant…

by Free_Homework6984 1 week ago

Agree. Love is a game for people that like to hurt other people, people that love to get hurt or sex addicts.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

here's a more politically correct way to say the same thing: all rules are valid, but nobody is obligated to play along. Everyone has the right to set terms and conditions to their relationships, but the same can be said about ur partner: they have the right to choose what rules to accept, if any.

by Prestigious_Pay303 1 week ago

I think any normal, mature person would agree

by Westjayce 1 week ago

In Australia its drunken sex first then decide if you want to hang out after

by BigMeasurement9614 1 week ago

wondering if the same rules apply to lesbians 🤔

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I didn't know there were rules. I just went on a date with my now wife and then we just text/talk and after five years of being in a relationship we got married.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I haven't had any of these rules come up in my dating experience as an adult. Always seemed like something teenagers think matters because it's in a movie or something.

by Federico20 1 week ago

I didn't follow those rules and it was off putting for some people. I'm much more straight forward when I was dating. My fiancé freaked out at how blunt I was in my intentions at first, but looking back, it was appreciated. I just didn't have time to be playing games. It's a waste of my very limited energy.

by Beautiful-Stable1407 1 week ago

I've been on many dates and these things never even came up or were mentioned by anyone, who and where the hell are you dating?

by Otto55 1 week ago

Lol I've never dealt with any "rules", except for the normal "if you're asking, you're paying". Everyone has their own boundaries, it's best to get the basics established before meeting.

by RevolutionaryRush 1 week ago

I'm in my 40's at this point. I'm too old for games. I'd you want games, there's the door, because I'm not playing.

by qhintz 1 week ago

one of the best relationships i had started with us getting all the "bandaids" ripped off the first night we met, we would call whenever we were texting and felt like we wanted to get more in depth, and there were no expectations about when to say or do things, it just happened as it happened it didnt work out because we had conflicting views on children, but being able to get that out of the way within the first couple weeks of casual dating was so much better than the more common experience of dating exclusively for months only to find out that you have very different goals in life we're still friends, i dont see him in a romantic way anymore because of our opposing views but i appreciate having someone in my life who can tell me things straight up instead of pretending to be someone they're not for the sake of trying to keep the interest or connection alive when its not really there eta: so much better to just say how you feel, and talk things thru as they come up rather than waiting for the "right time" because there is no right time, you have to actually communicate, otherwise how do you expect to have a relationship that lasts

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Alot of those rules are for people who don't have interesting lives to fake "being interesting" "Why didnt he text me back? Maybe he just had alot going on. How interesting!" Some people fall for it but it's better to just have a fun life outside of your dating so you are naturally busy being awesome instead of being a pretender

by eudora94 1 week ago

Agree with everything except the no contact part. Why would you ever message an ex? (Unless you share kids)

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree w everything except the no contact thing. If the relationship was worth anything you're gonna need a month or two apart

by dschaden 1 week ago

that, and boundaries are healthy, going no contact is a valid boundary whether it's permanent or not. you can't really heal when the thing you're healing from is still present. even if a breakup was amicable, someone could still need time to grieve the relationship and find their footing as a single person. this is okay and normal. others need that person entirely away to move forward depending on the relationship, that's also okay.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yep i agree

by dschaden 1 week ago

Wait, that's an unpopular opinion? Goodness, I'm glad I don't have to date anymore.

by gradynasir 1 week ago

Wait these rules actually exist? I've never heard of any of them outside of friends

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Oh what, I was expecting something about social interaction, manners etc. You're describing some kind of weird arbitrary rule book, this is insane.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

People are stupid

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And somehow these rules were made up by women...

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Hold up people actually do this bs after high school, I can maybe see college but like Actual adulting adult aged adults do this? The hell

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You can reach out all you want after a breakup, they likely don't want to talk to you

by Emory50 1 week ago

After reading this, I bless every moment of my life engaged in childish social norms and remember with regret and embarrassment the times I ignored them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Naw genz cope is that they are too busy to respond to any text under 48 hours.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

We need to return to traditional Kazakhstan times and values when there was a common agreement you could just kidnap a hoe if she was caught lackin on the street

by Leonelstrosin 1 week ago

That's because those rules are meant for the internet to gain points and aren't based in reality

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Somebody didn't get the relationship they wanted lol You op, it's you

by Kathleen37 1 week ago

The only rule is there shouldn't be rules because feelings for people can't be controlled and if you are into artificially induced rules for something that is by nature unpredictable, then you're not my type.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The rule is that you need to respect people's boundaries. It's called consent. If you can't respect a person's right to consent, get familiar with restraining orders.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I do respect it. Don't mean I have to put up with it. Read what I said. If you put up rules I don't agree with, I'm out of there. Simple as that.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

1st rule for men : be tall when you show up , at least 5 inches taller than her for to be desirable, 2-3 will work but be ready to compensate, shorter than her ? Go home

by Ferrypiper 1 week ago

Human beings continue being their worst enemy,we make things so much harder than they need to be this is a prime example.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

sounds like the 80's

by Big-Conference-4596 1 week ago

Dating itself is childish. It's a game

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I feel like these rules are residual from historical contexts of courting women to marry in like Victorian times or something but I'd have to research it more to know for sure.

by Dependent-Mistake 1 week ago

There are definitely rules that should be followed, just not any of these. The most important rule is to not rely on your date for transport on your first few dates. Ever. Don't go to their house. Safety first.

by Plenty_Chemist 1 week ago

Bruh, this is shockingly hostile. If you can't respect boundaries, that's a you problem. If you're having a difficult time finding women who want to date you, try not being an asshole.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

IT'S ALL SO ARBITRARY. And for WHAT? Absolutely nothing.

by Efficient-Pack 1 week ago

It is not men that made these rules...

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Part of this seems like an age thing. None of these "rules" were really a thing when people got past age 18ish.

by Anonymous 1 week ago