No one truly cares if you develop a chronic illness. The support is shallow and "likes" is the most you can expect. amirite?

Ya it sucks and I wish it wasn't that way, but ultimately people will only look after their own. People can barely survive this world themselves, and if they don't survive, then who is expected to be the ones to help others? Everything runs on money so jobs burn people out and take up time from being with family or doing what you want. With such little time and money, people ultimately choose themselves, which is why barely anything is done for strangers going through struggles alone. To be fair though, intentional support, kindness, and love especially is a huge ask from people you don't know.

by Noemie63 1 week ago

Virtue signaling is easy. Less cynically and definitely more realistically, I think a lot of these people do care, but what can they really do about it? Having distant compassion isn't a bad thing; it's not healthy to overly exert yourself for every single person you meet. It's good that society is trying to become more accepting and all, but geez...

by Old-Grape 1 week ago

Im sorry you dont have people around you to support you.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Ty PASC isn't easy

by kassandra68 1 week ago

One hundred percent. You don't suddenly develop empathy for someone who up until they contracted their illness, you never really cared for.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I've had mixed experiences. The people that get it, get it, and are reliably considerate. For others, it's hard to empathize with an experience that they've never had. Most people try to be kind and helpful, but they have their own priorities, and often they don't know how.

by Dewittfahey 1 week ago

What do you expect random strangers to do? Unless they're in your support network, nobody cares about you at all, sick or healthy

by Old_Patience 1 week ago

Even if people are in one's support network, they have a limit to how much support they can provide. Having someone chronically ill in your life can be very draining. I say this as someone with several disabilities.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And people may have other problems to deal with at the same time as well. I know i didn't have the energy to spend on things my friends were going through when i had/wanted to tend to a terminal family member at that time.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Family members often don't help at all either, or are not kind to you.

by Substantial-Emu1654 1 week ago

This is the sad truth of life, people don't really care about each other, and everyone is really shallow. I think old boy said it best, when you laugh the whole world laughs with you but when you cry, you cry alone.

by Zestyclose_Contest 1 week ago

Do you really not care at all about others?

by Dhaag 1 week ago

I've noticed this for a lot of heavy things. Like I've mentioned a few times being a victim of SA and people are always like "I'm so sorry" or "I feel so bad" and goes on about how horrible that stuff is but like I honestly kinda hate it. I know they don't actually feel sorry or anything and they're just saying it to make me feel better and it almost feels like babying or treating me like a child. From what you described, it sounds like it's pretty much the same thing you have to go through

by Anonymous 1 week ago

But what do you expect them to say? These people feel sorry for you. But there is not much that they can do about it. And there is not really a good way to respond to hearing something like that.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yes, even your friends will eventually abandon, or lightly ghost you at best when you no longer have specific activities in common.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

When I told people about my illness on Facebook. I got a lot of support messages and I'm here for you. 2 months later nothing. Humans are garbage. I learned that during COVID working at Walmart.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

what do you want people to do? like, seriously asking.

by eoconnell 1 week ago

And what do you want from them? Did you tell them what you wanted for support? Did you communicate your needs? Did you think of their situation and how easy/hard it is for them to give support (Remember that everyone ahs problems and they might not be able to put in the energy that you expect).

by Willaconn 1 week ago

Yup I have PASC and it's isolating

by kassandra68 1 week ago

First off. My sympathy for what you are going through, must be really rough. I think support however is thinner spread the further away you move from your personal circle in every horrible situation, like illness, house burning down and grief: parents, adult kids and siblings usually are willing to spend time and funds to do whatever is is to alleviate as much pain and sadness as possible. And continue to do so for extended periods. Some friends, neighbours and extended family might also want to chip in quite a bit but most will primairely be focussed on stuff happening closer to home and people a bit further away will most likely do a nice gesture once or twice and go about their day again. Having to see and feel this phenomenom in person is really painfull though.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I honestly don't know what to. A friend of mine got a chronic disability that probably won't ever get any better. I'll go by when I can and then we do what she can. I'll do groceries, but there is a limit to what I can do... And I think this is true for most

by fkirlin 1 week ago

You are doing way more than most people ever would even think about doing.

by Substantial-Emu1654 1 week ago

Keep in mind people have their own problems and they don't have time and energy to spend with you. During years I was very empathetical and listening to people's problems. But lots of them, when they catch you won't leave you and will become energic vampires who talk to you about their problems for hours. If they are your close ones, you can ask them this kind of attention. If not, you can't. I am now avoiding these kind of people. I won't give them more than I would ask for myself. A "ooh sorry dear I'm so sorry" and a hug is all I can give, all I would ask. More is too much. Unless - as mentionned - is someone very close to you.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah, it is so. I just keep my mouth shut, talk to everyone about themselves, and soldier on. It became clear to me when I was much younger that nobody cares all that much about anyone else. Mostly, what people care about is their own fear of grief and loss. So, if the possibility of grief is low (should you die), then they are not concerned. Sorry. That may seem cynical, but there it is.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yup. No one understands, nor they actually try to understand. You're forbidden and disregarded

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Realistically, what do you want from people? I have an autoimmune disease and some other serious mental/physical health issues. . .ultimately what do you want from people with whom you aren't in close interpersonal relationship? Society, as a whole, should make physical/mental healthcare more accessible & affordable, along with an increase in services for people who are seriously disabled. Otherwise, everyone's life and its problems are there's to manage. And even people with whom you are close, have a limit to how much support they can provide.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is why it's important we put our own mental health and wellbeing first. Nobody else is gonna do it for us, regardless of our circumstances

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is the correct takeaway.

by Substantial-Emu1654 1 week ago

What exactly do you think you're entitled to from the people around you?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My issue isn't with people in general, most don't understand but don't go out of their way to make it more difficult. I get a little bit of attitude if my mobility issues or food allergies interfere once in a while, but people generally want you to be involved and comfortable. Medical professionals that are paid to provide care seem to often antagonize, condescend, demean, or dismiss, which is really deflating. The very least they could do is listen when I explain what is going on and what has changed and why it is causing problems in my life, and maybe acknowledge why I think it's something that needs addressed, but that is far too much to ask apparently.

by wildermanchadri 1 week ago

Sad but true that most people don't truly care about you unless it directly effects them in someway as well. Had my autoimmune disease my whole life and other diseases and even then at times those closest to me at times feel like they could care less. And worse even your partners will leave you behind if they feel it's too much or to heavy for them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And worse even your partners will leave you behind if they feel it's too much or to heavy for them. As they should. If they reached their limits in what they can handle, you are not entitled to more than that. And you can't expect people to care all the time. They have their own issues too.

by Willaconn 1 week ago

For the most part, yes. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and have often been dropped by people because I'm "too negative"- because I'm honest about my condition and limitations. I had a coworker insist that my "negative attitude" was making me sick. However, it does show you who your true friends are and there are occasionally people that truly care. My boyfriend is one of my biggest supporters and is super caring and understanding. The few friends that stuck around are the same way.

by rempeldonna 1 week ago

Yes I feel this way after getting sick

by Unlucky-Victory 1 week ago

"If"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think family and friends legitimately care. But yeah strangers don't really

by Weak_Quit 1 week ago

I think of my friends and I try to help them as needed. Societally yes no one cares but interpersonally there are people who do care

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm an IBD researcher. I care.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

ITP. Nobody cares, nor do they understand. Until I get cut. Then they ask why I had to be so dramatic and go to the ER. Unless they see the resulting pools of blood from "that little cut."

by Oliver24 1 week ago

Okay, but why should anyone truly care? Other than your immediate family and close friends, no one is obligated to care. Sure it sucks, but I am not crying over my food becuase someone else is going hungry.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Most people just think "better you than me".

by Anonymous 1 week ago