Small talk can be fun and it's important to be good at it. amirite?

Yes this! Small talk is meant to be a segue.

by RelativeCommission 1 week ago

The only thing worse or more boring is gossip.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is what I came here to say! Small talk is for strangers or to ease into a conversation.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If you only do small talk with your friends when yall Hangout then your friendships are pretty shallow lol

by Upper_Assumption_495 1 week ago

Conversations with my friends go well beyond small talk...small talk is when you're at work and you're in the breakroom with the guy from accounting that you barely know and you're like, "hey...how's it going?" and then some blah, blah, blah after that before you head back to your desk.

by Every-Reputation 1 week ago

Tbh, if you can't get out of the small talk phase for an entire conversation you aren't friends. You are just being friendly with an acquaintance. If you are actually friends, the weather is just a way to start a conversation that's deeper and personalized.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I don't think I have friends now.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah bud I don't think the people you call friends are really friends lol. I only have "small talk" with friends who I only see maybe 3 times a year now and even then it goes WAY deeper than small talk after like 15 minutes

by Townesanta 1 week ago

Yep. Its definitely you

by Anonymous 1 week ago

True, but each person has a different opinion on what small talk is. And on the other hand a lot of people don't enjoy "deep" talks with strangers.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's a very useful skill if done right

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Small talk is a useful skill! Staying in small talk tends to be pretty bad tho, sometimes you can say a few words that really do something but that is like deeper on some level. Small talk is how you get to medium talk tho - common interests, a little emotion, humor, the things people really enjoy engaging with

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I can do a little bit of it as a light formality when it's someone I don't know well or am not close. But for me, it is either a cover because I don't want to truly talk in depth for real with this person, or it something I am doing because that seems like it is just how conversation starts, but really I just want to get past that and into some realness and often conversations with some folks just peter out and never get there. Which leaves me feeling depleted because I just talked about a bunch of stuff I don't care about, for nothing

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Im you

by Anonymous 1 week ago

As someone who works from home, I love chatting it up with my older retired neighbors when I take my midday walk around the neighborhood. I'm here for small talk.

by Lopsided_Annual9626 1 week ago

It's a useful skill but that doesn't mean people have to put effort into it or have to enjoy doing it, it's perfectly fine to not want a stranger to talk to you.

by Background_Bridge610 1 week ago

😂

by Fit_Blacksmith3988 1 week ago

But small talk can just waste time with people, the same people you make small talk with probably won't ever be your friend.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

why does every human chat interaction have to have the objective of becoming someone's friend?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It doesn't, having the skills for small talk is brilliant in a professional setting, but it can have a adverse effect on your personal life.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

ah, the extra contexts helps round it all together. that makes sense.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I love small talk. You have to start with small talk to get to the medium talk.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You sound like you'd be stuck for an answer when someone says hello.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"Hello!" "You Too!"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Wow, as a person with autism who hates small talk, I never looked at it this way before.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

No it isn't

by kochcamylle 1 week ago

well u can't really form a friendship without chatting w someone first can u?

by Owalter 1 week ago

It's literally a fundamental part of being human. Lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You start a conversation, you can't even finish it You're talking a lot, but you're not saying anything When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed Say something once, why say it again?

by blicknels 1 week ago

As an introvert who dislikes small talk, agree lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's not fun- but I agree it's important to be good at. I work at a hospital and everyone I meet remembers me and seems to remember me fondly- Thing is, I don't really do much- but I'm the kinda guy who starts cracking jokes when I get uncomfortable. To me it's small talk, but it definitely seems to have a big impact.

by Uward 1 week ago

It can be monotonous at worst and interesting at best. Regardless, small talk is a necessary skill for human interaction. People need to learn how to do this in order to get to know people on a more personal level. Jumping straight to deep conversations with people you just met can lead to pretty clunky answers and an even weirder first impression of yourself. Not only do I personally find it weird for someone who I just met to ask me something very profound/personal, but small talk will also provide perspective into said answers. It's like skipping a part of a map in a video game

by Schroedermodest 1 week ago

No

by johnsondrew 1 week ago

OK, but how though? What does one need to do to "learn to be pleasant with small talk"? Specifically, in detail. What do I actually do? I try, but I constantly draw a blank in these situations. How do I learn to come up with things to say? I know you're going to say "practice", but what specific practice regimen?

by schambergererib 1 week ago

Listen and observe first.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Very well put and a good concrete example of how important these skills can be to your professional life

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yea, it's just that you're never going to get "realness" out of a professional relationship. It's always going to be surface level and the chance of making an intense connection is slim to none. That doesn't mean it's not important or not worth doing. You really do need it if you want to professionally succeed I'm practically begging younger associates to just go something like the company picnic. They can even have their lunch hour given back later. But they avoid it like the plague and wonder why the same 10 people get all the favors :(

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm not bad at small talk, I just hate it. 5 minutes is fine, but if you spend 20 minutes explaining why you picked the color toaster you picked, I'm checked out and angry.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

So what color did they end up with?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I've been bad my whole life, but recently, I have gotten better. It is more fun now.

by bkuhlman 1 week ago

If this is an unpopular opinion then it is just a sign of the times we live in and what social media has done to us. We're losing the ability to socialize normally in person. Probably doesn't help with the whole mental health crisis going on.

by Vicky54 1 week ago

Nah, I hate it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Agreed 10/10

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My issue with it is that it's almost always forced and insincere.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yes, this ^ And also, I find that A LOT of people have no idea how small talk works. Like I said above, MOST of your interactions with people, EVEN with people you are close with is going to be small talk. From what I have read from the experts, even though we all enjoy passionate conversations and getting to know someone deeply, the evidence suggests that small talk is how we learn if we can trust someone, so that we can have those deep conversations. Small talk is JUST AS important in relationships as those deep conversations. And there are places where small talk is even part of the culture. For instance, I feel like small talk is a big part of what makes British people British. And yes, even young people in Britain do this. When someone talks about the weather, it is generally, NOT ALWAYS, but generally as a way to be friendly with you. Small talk is how we connect.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

100%, you're absolutely right that it's a great way to figure out if someone is even remotely compatible and trustworthy. You can tell so much about someone in just a few minutes from how they carry a conversation.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Small talk is boring and I'll leave it to the folk who like it: boring people.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Add a friendly smile and eye contact. The improvement of the exchange will definitely increase.

by gerlachjermaine 1 week ago

Small talk is great for disarming people and making them feel comfortable. If you're good at small talk, it serves you well.

by Individual_Hair_5049 1 week ago

It's also very easy to take small talk and dig real deep and have a great conversation. Whatever they say, take the most interesting part of what they said, and ask about it. Keep doing that and you'll get deep fast. It's not something I do unless there's time and it's appropriate, but it's pretty great

by Adorable_Orange 1 week ago

Wow. That's exactly what I think I'm doing when I text people but I still get ghosted in half a day. Lol just ain't meant to be

by IndividualSurvey 1 week ago

Back in high school while waiting outside in the hall before class, a kid I was friendly with would unironically have the exact same small talk conversation with me everyday. Him: "Hey, Azrael417, you see the game last night?" Me: "Yeah, it was pretty good." Him: "Yeah, pretty good, right?" 5 seconds of silence Him: "You do the homework last night?" Me: "Yeah." Him: "What'd you think?" Me: "Ehh, pretty good." Him: "Yeah, pretty good, right?" 5 seconds of nodding and smiling, then 2 minutes of staring at our phones I looked forward to this interaction everyday for a whole year. I miss that kid.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You guys talk to strangers? Nervous Norwegian laugh

by Hoegerearline 1 week ago

Bro just figured out what networking is

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If someone tells you ‘I don't like small talk' to get you to go away, it likely means one of the following: a) you gave them the ick in some fashion. People are usually open to conversation if they like/trust you, b) they are having a hard day and just want to be left alone, or c) your in a professional environment, where they view you as being in a position of power over them, to the point where any conversation that isn't about work is not small talk to them, it's a predicament.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I have never experienced fun small talk in my entire life I used to work at a gas station and I talked to people all day and it was never anything more than "hey, how you doing? Good you? Pretty good." Even outside of work it was never more than that.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You need to scratch the surface before you can have deep conversations with people. Small talk is scratching the surface.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I am not hate small talk when I'm busy or not in the mood. Other than that I love it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I love small talk and if someone starts trauma dumping on me the first 3 times I see them im gonna get pissed

by dparisian 1 week ago

I agree. People who hate small talk just don't have social skills

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Every friendship or relationship ever begins with small talk.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Sure. You just have to get out of the small talk zone pretty fast for the friendship to develop. That's been my experience, but I'm a happy introvert. 🤷‍♀️ Btw, I wouldn't say every relationship begins that way. People meet under all kinds of circumstances.

by Fit_Blacksmith3988 1 week ago

Especially with good looking women who think your dog is cute

by Greedy-Order 1 week ago

i dont consider talking about pets small talk. its a very important conversation

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Most people like small talk and are better at small talk than they think they are.

by SilverLunch6265 1 week ago

Lol. It does go somewhere though, that's the whole point. The "skill" part of small talk is getting to the genuine conversation without just bulldozing your way in. The reason people talk about the weather specifically is because it's really easy to transition into a conversation about a shared interest. Snow this weekend huh -> oh youre skiing this weekend? -> talk about skiing -> talk about skiing injuries -> agree that healthcare I'm the US is ridiculous -> what if there was a ski run so dangerous 1% of people who tried it died. Would people who think COVID was no biggie just take the plung or be out off by the mountain of skulls? The people who don't do this are the people who just walk up like "hey I like Warhammer lore. And then the next 20 minutes is you trying your best not to scream STFU ABOUT WARHAMMER LORE!

by trystan84 1 week ago

Yup. Sitting at an airport bar: Oh hey, where you flying to? > Oh nice, I've never been there myself but hopefully I'll go one day. Going for work or to visit family or? > Nice, I travel for work too, it's pretty crazy sometimes. What do you do? > Oh, that sounds interesting. Me? I do XYZ, it's always a bit of an adventure. I do travel for work and spent 3 hours talking to some random dude from Dallas at a bar in Salt Lake City earlier this week because I asked the bartender if they could put on the hockey game (EDM/LA) and he asked if I was a hockey fan and we started talking about the Dallas Stars and just went from there. Scott, if you see this, thanks for the entertainment dude! Best of luck with your promotion.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Every friendship or relationship ever starts with small talk.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Omg haha you're insane. You don't see any need to talk to somebody without it being a deep conversation?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Which starts with being able to even do basics... like small talk. If your small talks go nowhere, I'm really curious how your "genuine" talks go.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why even have small talk when you can have real talk?

by brady66 1 week ago

How do you have a real talk if you're already dismissing talk?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You have friends?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Do you have friends?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yes

by brady66 1 week ago

Ok.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I mean I agree and want to get out of my shell in the future, but it's hard to put yourself out there if you are neurodivergent or have mental health issues like me.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I hate small talk.

by Many-Intention-4714 1 week ago

Oh so youre part of the "hive"

by Anonymous 1 week ago